Do It Scared

My whole life I thought that people who did big things like competing in the Olympics, becoming a world famous anything, or people who spoke in front of huge crowds had something that the rest of us didn't. Maybe like pixie dust, or an extra dose of courage that was distributed sparingly to those "bright stars" that can serve as a guide for the rest of us mere mortals. 

I see now that all these achievers have one thing in common: they learned to do it scared. 

They took the next step out of their comfort zone and entered the next space until that new place became their comfort zone and just when they were tempted to put their slippers on and settle in, they stepped out of that place and took on the next thing. 

Do you watch people? I do. 

Here is a little insight about me: I rarely cry because I am sad or frustrated, but I will WEEP LIKE AN INFANT at the sight of raw courage or perseverance in the face of impossibilities. 

If you give me the back story on an athlete that had to overcome incredible odds, or had to endure an incredibly difficult family crisis but ended up on that world stage at that particular time in history, I am their new #1 fan. 

They inspire me, and frustrate me because I realize that the only thing stopping me from fulfilling my God-given mission on the earth, is me. My limiting thoughts. my lack of work ethic, or my excuses when I don't meet my goals, etc...

Grrrrrr.......I really wanted and wished for someone or something to blame. 

Last Friday, I had the chance to sit in on a great leadership training day. Top notch leaders were there (by simulcast): John Maxwell, Tyler Perry, Carly Fiornia, and a few more. But one speaker stood out by a mile. Her name was Debra Searle, you can find out more about her here.

The short version is that she rowed across the Atlantic in a tiny boat almost entirely by herself. Her husband was supposed to cross with her, but he was overcome with uncontrollable anxiety and had to be rescued. "On paper", she said "he was much more qualified to compete in that race. He was tall with long arms, he had been an Olympic rower, so he should have been the one to finish. One problem: he was terrified of open water. They had trained together on the Thames, but had never been out in the ocean until the race started. Two weeks in to a 3 month journey, he was rescued and she had to decide what to do. Debra Searle decided to finish. 

She said some important things that really spoke to me. She said that many of the other racers, who looked good on paper, also quit. Then she realized that this whole thing wasn't just about physical strength, but mental strength. 

Here are my today thoughts about doing it scared: 

1. You can't wait - do what you can, now

You can't wait until you are at peak performance level, all the words are just right, your whole house is in order and you are well rested before you jump in. 

This, right now, what you are reading, this blog, is me doing it scared. My current environment is not scary (well, not for me, but you might be intimidated by my awesome, messy hair), It is early in the morning, I am in my jammies, on my second cup of coffee and I am trying to be as quiet as possible in these wee hours of morning just to squeeze out a few more minutes of writing before all my kids tumble from the door coming from downstairs.

It is not scary to write but it is scary to hit "publish'. 

Once I hit that button, the world opens up and who knows who will read my ramblings. Even that, by itself, is not scary, What is scary is the potential that people will think I am being pretentious or boring. Who am I to write a blog, start a facebook page, speak to the hearts of anyone who will listen? 

What if people criticize? What if they roll their eyes and think I am....whatever people think. 

Or, even better, what if no one cares and no one reads. 

I have to do it scared. 

My job is not to determine outcome, my job is to hit send, publish and practice, even if all the scary things happen (which they almost never do). 

2. You are your worst enemy - get out of your head

As I wrote that little bit above this point, I honestly rolled my eyes at myself. The truth is, no one is thinking about me (or you) as much as they are thinking about themselves. 

I am guessing you battle, like I battle, to accomplish anything out of the normal routine of life. 

If you are like me, anytime I want to do something outside the lines, my whole brain takes up arms against me. "You can't do that", "It has all been said, you have nothing new to contribute"... blah...blah...to the boring blah-ti-bi-blah....

As my friend Jake says "how many Italian restaurants are there? Do people get tired of all the different ways people can make spaghetti? No? Then your flavour is needed". 

Creativity, or any contribution that makes a difference requires that we come out of the attic in our brain and just put it out there. We can improve as we go. 

3. You will face obstacles- do it anyway

Do you ever feel like you want to help people, so you jump in, try to be a help and end up getting munched in the machine of public opinion? 

We live in a weird time that the ones who put their necks out and try to be responsible and lead are made to be major targets on social media etc...

Teachers, pastors, politicians, bosses, leaders of all kinds are being criticized constantly from living room experts sitting in the comfort of their own homes. 

At my leadership seminar, Carly Fiorina said it so nonchalantly: "Criticism is a part of leadership, get over it."

One problem, Carly: I hate criticism. 

She is right of course and actually don't hate criticism as much as I hate the idea that I can't fix the perceptions that people have. 

Confession: when I say "do it scared", this is the biggest pay check I write. There is price to pay for trying to bring solutions and help people. Criticism and unresolved conflict is the toll I pay every day to be who I am and stay active in the world around me. I hate unresolved conflict, but it is part of the leadership package, so I have to write the check. 

I can grow and change from feedback, but I can't (and you can't) stop just because people don't like us. 

Criticism is one major obstacle, but what about discouragement, disillusionment, or setback? 

I could go on and on...but the important thing is that you face down the obstacles and let them train you, make you stronger and give you the strength to keep fighting when it is hard. 

4. Perspective is everything 

I rode in a bike race over the summer, it is a long story that you can read HERE. 

At the halfway point of my race, after yet another hill, there was an oasis in the form of a white tent that was stocked full of snacks and drinks. “Am I the last one?” I asked the volunteers with my laboured breath, “Not quite”. Their faces were like those of an angel to me. While I stretched and caught my breath, another racer rode into the pit stop. He was a dad with one kid riding with the extra wheel attachment on his bike and another kid, probably 12, riding his own bike. “Wow!” I said “You are doing so well with that extra weight on the back of your bike!”. He looked at me and said “Extra weight? No way! I have an extra engine" (meaning the sweet, but heavy 7 year old on the back of his bike). 

I loved every bit of that. 

I was fighting for every inch of that road; fighting a bad attitude, fighting to breathe, fighting to finish. This guy was riding the same race with a different motivation: his kids.

I wonder what those pre-race conversations were like?

“Hey guys” (they were both boys) “would you want to ride the race with me this year?” I can almost see their faces, they must have been so excited. Don't you wonder what their training regimen was like? I can imagine this dad, riding up and down hills, mile after mile, talking to them about pressing through even when they were tired. I can almost hear him saying “kid, you can do this! We can do it together." 

On race day, I was pretty near the end of the pack  but I think those three closed the gate. If you ask me? I think they won the whole day. 

Most of the time it isn't about speed, natural ability or aptitude. Almost always it is perspective that gets you through to the finish. 

Debra Searle, the rower I mentioned earlier, talked in depth about this. Her voyage was supposed to be 6 weeks but it took three months. Her whole victory depended on her perspective. She just wouldn't quit. Not at Christmas when she wanted to be home, not when the sharks in the water circled around her,  not when a sea turtle started eating the bottom of her boat, and not when two hurricanes nearly sent her to the bottom of the ocean. In fact, she was grateful for the hurricanes because they helped her increase her speed exponentially (Just, wow - that is a great perspective!). 

Friends, I am going to start my day now. I will take these thoughts I wrote here and work them out until I crawl into my bed tonight. If you made it this far with me, I pray you will too. We are all in this race together and I love imagining you out there on your course, making decisions in the moment to take the next hill or keep moving when every inch of you wants to retreat. 

Keep moving, even when you are scared.

Especially when you are scared.

I will see you at the finish line. 

Love, 

Keri